Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Somebody, Anybody own (insert name) @ minnesota

In last weekend's friday article by Andy Baggot of the WSJ the following was stated:

As a freshman, (Patrick) Johnson was a gritty, trash-talking agitator who thought nothing of flinging his 5-foot-9, 155-pound frame into every fray.

Now Johnson is not sure if he should be reprising that act or if he should be trying to refine his offensive game for a team that needs all the balance it can get.

I thought that the role he played as a freshman defined him and made him an instant favorite of everyone; he combined scoring and playmaking w/ some trash talk and agitation that got him under the other teams skin well helping the team succeed. Since Ratty isn't sure what he wants, let's open this up to everyone this week. It's the gophers afterall. Geoffrion, Little, Thurber, McDonagh, Grotting, Bohmbach time to lay some smack down.

Option #1 - Sam Lofquist, the Somerset, WI native scored his only goal of the season against the Badgers in at the Kohl Center and thought it would be cool to give the Phil Kessel cupped ear thing. I'll tell you what would be cool, seeing your candy ass being owned by anyone in the Cardinal and White.

Option #2 - Jordan Schroeder, he's being talked up as an early 1st round pick in his summer NHL Draft. He played pretty well for Team USA at the WJC, but w/ the stars and stripes removed and the ugly 'm' now in place, Badger fans are no longer cheering for your success, only your complete and utter failure.

Option#3 - Cade Fairchild, unlike his teammate, he was one of the worst blue liners on Team USA at the WJC, and in the process dragged Ryan McDonagh down w/ him. No one likes dead weight that doesn't do their part; time for someone to be owned.

Option #4 - Patricia "Whitey" White, he thought it would be funny to yank Ben Grotting's helmet off, and when the beatdown came he went into turtle mode. Like his goon teammate Brian Schack, its funny to jump someone from behind until he turns around and beats your ass. Someone else want to own "Whitey"?

Bonus question: Who is the stupidest member of the FSN gopher broadcast team? Tough choice, I know.

Option #1 - The Rug, he' a bigger homer than...well there is no comparison because he's #1
Option #2 - Woog, his Woogism are classic, just like his stance on 100% minnesota born teams
Option #3 - Kevin Gorg, the most useless human to ever exist