Monday, October 27, 2008

Ratty Johnson owns (insert name) @ Nodak

Last week the fans voted for Ratty to own Tony Lucia, I didn't see it happen, but he'll be on the list again when the Badgers travel over the border later in the season. No one runs our goalie and gets left off the list, the whole Lucia family are class acts (sarcasm intended). I did see Ratty land a huge hit on midget blue liner Aaron Ness, he was pretty well owned.

In case you missed it Ben Grotting also owned Patrick White and made him his bitch.

Its a new week, we still don't have a win, but that isn't from Ratty giving it his all, all weekend. If everyone gave the effort he does, well I think we'd be 3-3 right now.

When I was thinking of players for Ratty to own this week, I thought maybe he should get retribution for Joe Finley's pathetic slash on Bucky Badger last season, but hitting the fighting Sioux mascot would not only be wrong, it would probably be considered a hate crime. Plus, Ratty isn't the complete embrassement of a human being that Joe Finley is. Ratty has already owned the Sioux's #1 goon, but its a new season, no reason he can't make him cry in the shower again this year.

This week's choices for players wearing green uniforms:

Choice #1 - Ryan Duncan, after a busy summer of working for travelocity, the garden gnome (who is sometimes roaming) returns to the wasteland of Grand Forks w/ out TJ Oshie AND Jonathon Toews to make him look good. The undeserving Hobey Baker winner from 2007 can easily be lost in the crowd, even behind small children. This one might be too easy for Patrick Johnson.

Choice #2 - Joe Finley, do I really need to explain this one further? When he isn't slashing mascots (and writing letters to them as directed by the WCHA), he is pulling players out of hand shake lines and overall consistently gooning up the game of hockey at rinks throughout the midwest. He was awarded WCHA D-Bag of the year by Puckem on the Buckyville message board during the 2007-2008 season.

Choice #3 - Andrew Kozek, he scored the game winner in OT against us during the NCAA Regional, in his final season w/ the Sioux, he is ready to be owned by Patrick Johnson.

Choice #4 - Derrick LaPoint, he skipped town (ok the state) to head west and play for the Sioux. Sure there might not have been room for him at Wisconsin, but the Eau Claire native did the 2nd worst possible thing and headed to Grand Forks to play hockey.

Let me know what you think, the drive for .500 needs to start sometime, and since it didn't happen last weekend, I guess its now.