Monday, November 24, 2008

Patrick Johnson owns (insert name) College Hockey Showcase Edition

Well Patrick had a tall task last week in owning Garrett Roe; w/ out seeing the games in person or on tv, I don't completely know if he accomplished the task or not. He had a good thing going after owning Stalock the great big sieve the previous weekend. and Brett Olson and Seth Soley when Tech paid a visit to the Kohl Center the weekend before that. Perhaps Roe left the game in fear saturday, fear of Patrick Johnson. He wouldn't be the first WCHA athlete, nor will he be the last, I'm sure.

Since Wisconsin doesn't face a WCHA foe this week, I'm going to tone things down a bit. Billy Sauer would be a logical choice to be owned, but I think Michigan has a tandem thing working in goal and Sauer plays on fridays, which means the gophers get an easy win on friday night.

I'm going to give two options that won't be skating on the ice either night. Patrick will find plenty of CCHA posers to own regardless, so I ask you, which is more lame?

Option #1 - Michigan's prehistoric championship banners. Michigan claims to have won more national championships, 9, than any other college hockey program. If you look really really close at the picture to the left, you'll see some old frayed banners high in the rafters. Michigan won seven national championships before 1965, and the question I must ask is does anyone actually remember this? Was anyone reading this blog even alive (feel free to lie if you were)? This is from a time when Colorado College claims to have won national championships, and based on their post season success in recent memory this hardly seems possible. Sure Michigan had those titles in the 90's w/ Marty Turco in net, but trying to trump other hockey programs by boasting about banners won before the wheel was created is quite lame.



Option #2 - Sparty the Spartan. A lot of schools have lame mascots, minnesota has the prize wrapped up pretty tight every year (if ruckus the red tailed hawk is excluded at Denver, bring back Boone!). Sparty the Spartan doesn't impress me much either. Why does he wear armor? Is he a panzy and is afraid of other mascots who might kick his ass? I suppose those shin guards would be a bonus if North Dakota came to town and Joe Finley was looking for another letter to write for slashing a mascot. Assuming the movie 300 is historically correct, Michigan State is promoting the killing of children who aren't prefect, the Spartan way of old. I'm highly offended by a university that would support such actions by trotting out a man-scot in a green skirt. Everything's pretty lame in (lower) Michigan (w/ the exception of Big Boy), but Sparty the Spartan ranks pretty high on that list.

Option #3 - The CCHA. A last minute addition, it wishes it was the WCHA, but in the end its not, which makes it really lame.