Thursday, April 8, 2010

Ode to Captain Asskicker

In honor of the team's pursuit for #7 and to honor Captain Asskicker I've written an ode.

Ode to Captain Asskicker by Gandalf the Red

From bloodlines of yore, Blake Geoffrion grew to now lead a group of Badgers on a championship pursuit.
Great Grand Dad Howie was an original NHL legend raising Lord Stanley’s Cup on three separate occasions.
Grand Dad Boom Boom invented the slapper, he won six Cups himself and had his number raised to the rafters.
Dad Danny was drafted and skated a regular shift, for three seasons the NHL ice was his pitch.
Young Blake’s future looks bright, soon a Predator he’ll be, but first to Detroit for three nights of glory.

As a freshman, Blake was a punk spending less time skating on the ice than in a penalty funk.
In his second campaign, he became a fan favorite, playing left wing on the top line and saving KT from over hyped failure.
As a junior, young Geoffrion took the Captain’s C and became the lead man after Streeter went out w/ a knee.
No one thought he’d return as a senior, as a contract was weighed against a collegiate concern of returning unpaid.
But return Blake did, for a senior farewell that will be remembered in Madison as a legend to tell.
Some call him Boom Boom or Bam Bam, but for such an astute young man of character, he’s our leader: Captain Asskicker.

Blake scores the goals, currently 27 to his credit, and can made a sweet pass for his teammate’s benefit.
He grinds in the corner, hits like a hammer and blocks shots out front in a beautiful manner.
Blake leads the top line, w/ the revolving left wing, but w/ C Smith have been making the opposing goalie a SIEVE.
On the PP, scoring 14 times, there is no one better, not just in the WCHA, but everywhere by comparison.
On the PK, Blake is arguably the best, but don’t leave out the Bohmber, who together put any argument of stature to rest.
Part of wearing the “C” is talking to the refs, I feel sorry for Blake because Shepard, Hunt and Anderson are morons at best.
In all aspects of the game, Blake kicks lots of ass; Aaron Marvin had to cheap shot him in the head because he wears his sister Gigi’s dress.

Now the season winds down and soon the Hobey Baker will be crowned.
A finalist Blake was, along w/ blue line teammate Brendan, but when the Hat Trick was named only Blake was left standing.
Two other finalists are left, both from the east coast, where excessive voter bias is about all they can boast.
Did Maine make the tourney? And where is New Hampshire? When the season was on the line Bobby Butler let RIT continue to be cinderella; wow what leadership.
Blake’s stats are in line, but his leadership, heart and charity far out shine, so just hand him the damn award and stop wasting our time.
1st Team All WCHA and West Regional MVP are just steps along the way to achieving the first Badger Hobey.
At the end of the day, winning the Hobey would be great, but Captain Asskicker’s real goal is leading his team to #7’s fate.

After a grueling season, Blake led the troops to St Paul to compete in the West Regional hosted by the gophers whose season was bankrupted by Kangas letting too many goals in.
Tough opponents were Vermont and St Cloud, but the Badgers prevailed allowing the quest for #7 to continue.
On to Detroit, championship weekend is here and thousands will fill Ford Field to jeer and cheer.
Blake will rally the team and won’t allow young minds, to look past an RIT team, full of really old Canadians, who continue to surprise.
Should they be victorious another tough opponent will lie in wait, both were a runners-up, Miami last season, and Boston College when the Badgers achieved #6.
The faithful in Cardinal and White will join the team in mass, looking forward to Thursday’s puck drop and first pass.
Captain Asskicker will be there to faceoff at that first drop and along with his teammates will settle for nothing but the top.
60 thinks #7 is a matter of fate, I can’t help but agree w/ #5 leading the way.

Soon this ode ends, but not w/ out praise, for four great years of memories to a new Badger great
Thank you Blake Geoffrion for all that you’ve done, you’ve worn the Cardinal and White w/ pride and damn it was fun.
On my personal list, you join my favorites: move over McBain and the Bohmber, Tommy Gilbert and Elliott, you too Polish Prince of Plover; it is time to make room for Captain Asskicker to join your outstanding crew.
Whether Blake wins the Hobey or leads the team to #7 this championship weekend is not relevant, because to me he’ll always be the Cardinal and White’s Captain Asskicker.